Yesterday was yet another big day in our family’s lives….Chelsea played in her second basketball grand final in a row! Thankfully the result was better than the first – with a super come from behind win in the dying minutes! Elation all round as parents hugged each other, families hugged eachother and I looked down to see Cadyn crying tears of happiness for his sister. His Dad, my husband, the coach – was not too far behind him in the tears department. Never in my life did I ever think I would be part of a ridiculously sporty family – but I am, and I’m very proud!
After the game, we had to wait around for an hour or so for team photos, and whilst I was standing amongst the throngs of people, I spotted a girl I went to high school with. She was actually the first person I was introduced to on my first day of high school in Melbourne – way back in July 1990! And her name was Melissa also. I ended up moving friend groups, but we were always friendly and as the years went by, several things meant we would always seem to see one another.
One of those things was my relationship with my ex-husband. His best friend was Melissa’s brother-in-law. His best friend would also end up standing up with us at our wedding and was also chosen to be my eldest son’s God Father a couple of years later. I can still remember his wife’s conversation with me after he had been asked to take the role in our son’s life. She had said how honoured he was and that he insisted on choosing a gift and writing in the card himself. His words were chosen carefully and I can recall being touched with how seriously he took the role of God Parent.
I bumped in to him yesterday. I haven’t seen him for a couple of years. And he hasn’t seen him God Son for at least five years. For some reason, unknown to me, he slipped out of our lives and cut all ties with my ex-husband. Well, I understand that part – just not why I didn’t hear from them? I have continued to send school photos with Christmas cards, on the off chance that he still cared about his God Son, but after a while got no response, so had just assumed they must have moved. But no. They’re still at the same address.
We had a lovely chat and I showed him photos of his God Son on my phone, and he couldn’t believe how much he had grown up. I could – because I see him every day. I wanted to say that to him, I wanted to question why he had dropped the ball as a God Parent, and why I have to explain to Lachlan that he does in fact have a God Father, but I have no idea why he doesn’t have a relationship with him. It makes me sad. But then I remember he has an awesome God Mother, who has always gone above and beyond – even from another State – to forge a great relationshp with him.
The amount of thought that has gone in to choosing God Parents for our children is huge. It’s not something we took on lightly. Although they were all baptised, I am not an overly religious human being, but I wanted my kids to have special relationships with another set of adults whom they could always trust and turn to if they ever thought they couldn’t come to us.
Chelsea’s God Parents are amazing. They also happen to be mine and Andrew’s best friends. Cadyn’s God Parents have moved a few hours away, and in her own words are “hopeless” God Parents. I have to remind him who they are. I still send them school photos on the off chance they want them. And I still dearly love them regardless!! He also has one of Andrew’s brothers’ as a third God Parent – which is fabulous, because he always takes the time out to spend some one on one time with him. And Chloe? Well thank God we chose another one of Andrew’s brothers’ to step up to the plate for her! Chloe’s God Mother chose to sever our friendship, and in turn her role as God Mother, a couple of years ago. They were very, very close and had an amazing bond. A bond that has now thankfully been formed with her God Father’s long term girlfriend.
I take my own role as God Mother very seriously! I have three “official” God daughters, one of them interstate, one overseas and one is my niece here in Melbourne. I also have a number of very special, close to my heart kids whom I would move mountains for! So it really bothers me when others don’t see it as such a special honour and a chance to form a relationship with a little person that can continue for decades. My own God Mother will always have a special place in my heart and has always been around for me. And for that – I am eternally grateful.
So – do you believe in God parents? What does it mean to you?